| A little time for venting |
[20 Jan 2007|02:00pm] |
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I always come to this thing as a venting opportunity.. Things have been actually pretty great.. Besides the fact i really miss dance.. But i am moving on with my life.. I want to go to western really bad, but i am just scared to move on.. to grow up but i know its something that i am going ot have to do.. On another thought... You have came back into my life, and the day you came back was the day that i was so scared, scared to fall all over again to feel those feelings that i did before.. the scary thing is that i will always love you. no matter what, i will always and forever love you. I just dont understand how you dont see that i am truly someone who cares about you and will do absolutly anything for you. Its bad that i would even consider it after what you have done to me in the past but there is something about you that i just can not explain, you mean so much to me and i didnt forget that i just had put it on hold for a year and 3 months of not talking.. I wonder what made you come back to talking to me.. are you doing what you did before.. did you miss me.. or deep down did you actually love me too despite of everything you once said. It is so frusturating sometimes becuase a part of me wants to move on and another part is saying just hold out for a little longer maybe there is just a little hope left. A little hope that you will always forever have a little piece of me in your heart like you do in mine.. will we go our sepearte ways will we be brought together or yet will we move on to the same place.. these are the qouestions of life.. Would i be happy with you would i not be happy it sucks that i cant even talk to you about it becuase i know what you are going to say i know that deep down you wont tell me how you really feel becuase i feel that deep down inside that you are scared.... becuase if you didnt care about me then why would you have come back into my life after a year, Gosh why is this so hard to deal with... Why am i still so in love with you why do i even care about you.. im fine when i dont see you but when i do see you i cant resist your amazing smile your amazing ways just flat out u mean more to me then you will ever know....
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| Best Friends?... |
[27 Dec 2006|08:38pm] |
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9 years, 9 years of being the best of friends.. sharing things that noone else would ever know.. Countless nights talking on the phone for hours laughing about things that were just so stupid. Seeing you every day, even if it was just for 5 min. Making Trouble.. Flooding a hotel room full of soap suds.. So many inside jokes you coudlnt even count them. Where is it all now.. Down the Drain.. Down the fucking drain because of something so stupid.. The thing that kills me the most is that now you are turning it around on me.. Making it seem like it is all my fault these las 5 months have been the worst for me.. and sad to say you made me give up my dream.. you made me turn my back on the thing that i loved and the people that i love the most. I loved you with more love that i will ever put into someone else again. The worst thing is when i look at the memoreies... the homecoming.. the prom.. was it wa waist yeah you made them so magical for me but what is it now just a endless page of tears run down my face when i even look at a picture from something that was so memorable. That i can not even look at you straight in the face. That when i saw you i had to turn away because i could not face you.. That when i did see you i had to leave because i couldnt stop the tears from rolling down my face. i cant even eat carrot cake because i think of you.. i cant listen to music without thinking of you..
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| Friendship.. |
[07 Sep 2006|11:44pm] |
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So here goes another. Best friends? Is that what we were? i guess not huh for someone who i thought would never hurt me never treat me in such a dissrespectful manner hurt me more than anyone has ever hurt me before. You ment the world to me, you made me look at the world in a different way. You showed me happiness, you were me but a guy. We always said that nothing would ever tear us apart, but no my heart is apart writing this, she came back she took everything away, this is going to be the hardest thing i will ever have to endure. There is nothing harder than loosing your best friend to someone else. She will never love you like i loved you she will never be there for you like i was. We have had so many amazing memories and as much as i would love for you to come back into my life, i just cant have it you really hurt me, and it is going to be so hard to let it go i have cried for 4 days straight now. Everything reminds me of you. What did i do wrong where did i go wrong but dont worry in my heart i will always love you no matter how much you have hurt me. So i thought you were a definiton of a true best friend but i guess your not. Becuase best friends do not hurt someone like that. This is one of the worst feelings knowing that you are not there, that i cant even look at you the same i cant even say that i miss you becuase i am so utterly torn. All the pictures, the time spent, the memories yeah they are kind of a waste now because it seems as if it were some what a joke but i guess its not becuase the time i spent with you was priceless. Through the midst of all thank you.Thank you for being a great friend, the memories,the time spent i wouldnt trade it for anything in the world. The jokes the laughs the smiles the late night hugs, the talks under the stars the wishes at 11:11, mowing the lawn, kidnapping, 7-11 runs, movie nights, teaching me how to ski there are just so many i can name. i love with all my heart and soul please know that and so badly do i just want to work it out but this time its not going to be me it has to be you. I cant write anymore i am going to loose it :(
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| Well.. |
[18 Jul 2006|03:46pm] |
Well i havent updated this in a while im not really going to update it just yet i kinda just want to vent right now..
You know people come and go in your life, you think they are your best friends and in one instant everything can change. Someone who meant the world to me, well still means the world to me, has completely utterly changed. He never wants anything to do with me, he has grown to something new and wonderful yes a wonderful girlfriend. But when all is said and done who is going to be there for him, yes of course i am because i always will. But what if, just what if for this one time i am not going to be there? what if i treat you as you have done to me the last few months, ignore your calls, make excuses, yell at you at the the top of your lungs. and yes i took all of this becuase of one thing i am absolutly in love with you, you were my everything. My best friend my brother, my happiness. And when i need you most in my life you are not there for me. Yes this girl is an amazing girl and you desvere her and even better but you can not forget the people who love you the most. There is something about you i just cant explain. You have been there for me since we were 7 the love the memories i will cherish for a lifetime but now as i grow things are changing you are, you are moving on and i am going to have to accept that. So all is well and i love you so. I wish you the best and please know that i will always love you forever and ever. Thank you for the memories we have consumed but now they will be locked up in a box to open years later with the pic of us from then till now. I will sit there and open and say to myself why didnt you change things why didnt you make it better but its in your hands i am sick of picking up the pieces and putting them back together if you really cared for me you would take the time to see how hurt i am, i love you just please know that.
As for you, you are right move on and for the last 4 years i have given you the time of day everytime and its over i mean it this time never again will i give you the satisfaction of having me always be there for you. I will never show you sympathy i wil never have your back and i will never believe your lies i am done completly done with you. I can not take it anymore good luck and i am moving on just like you said so goodbye to you.
And now for you i feel as if ever since you have gotten this new best friend you are trying to rub it in my face yah iw as a shitty best friend and i made mistakes but it was the worst mistake letting our friendship go but have fun with this new and better friend i think things will work out for you in the end.
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| Senior Year.. |
[04 Feb 2006|01:20pm] |
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Yah so senior year isnt as cracked up as it seems to be.. It is prob one of the most scariest things that i have ever had to experience. Reality is hitting me, I am growing up im not going to be the little Amaanda that i have always been. My life is about to endure so many challenges and Amazing experiences. I have had to make many decisions, and i finally am choosing what I want to do, im not concerned about what other people think, i am doing what is best for me. I am going to dance becuase thats what i love doing i want to prove all the people who dont think i can do it that i can (And thats alot of people) Its hard when u dont have that much support from ur friends but i do from my family and thats all that matters. I guess you can say that the only thing i am looking forward to is getting out of West Bloomfield High school. Yes i love everyone that i am friends with but i cant wait to get away from some people who have just made the last 2 years of my high school experience complete Hell. Honestly u were the biggest mistake that has happend to me.. And yah you know who you are. Its going to be hard leaving all of my great friends but life goes on, you know thier you true friends if they keep in contact with you. Most of all i am going to miss my dance friends. They are the people that really know what goes on and know my real emotions. Things are changing people are changing but that is the whole life process. I am so glad with my chooice as far as my personal life. But if things do not work out i will def go to school. I am regarudless but i have to do what is right for me..
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| took this from amanda But recap Of 2005 |
[25 Dec 2005|07:24pm] |
~*January*~
1. Did you have a New Year's resolution this year?:
Hmm i think i did..
2. Who kissed you at midnight?:
Noone :(
3. Does it snow where you live?:
Yepp!
4. Do you like hot chocolate?:
Of Course!
5. Have you ever been to Times Square to watch the ball drop?:
No but i want to!
~*February*~
1. Who was your Valentine in 2005?:
Haha i Had no one!
2. What did your Valentine get you?:
nothing i didnt have anyone lol
3. When you were little, did you buy Valentines for your whole class?:
Hahah yah it was the best!
~*March*~
1. Are you Irish?:
nope
2. Do you wear green on St. Patty's Day?
yepperz
3. What did you do for St. Patty's Day in 2005?:
I dont remember
~*April*~
1. Do you like the rain?:
Yah..
2. Did you play an April Fool's joke on anyone this year?:
haha yep!!
3. Do you get tons of candy on Easter?:
Yep alot of chocolate!
~*May*~
1. What's your favorite kind of flower?:
roses and Lillys
3. Do you like the spring?:
Yeahh
4. Finish the phrase: April showers bring may flowers, what do May flowers bring?
a nice beauitful touch to evertyhing
what would you think of as a spring color?:
pink
~*June*~
1. What year did you graduate from school?:
2006
2. Did you go on any vacations last June?:
Nopee
~*July*~
1. What did you do on the 4th of July?
I went to Disney world cause i was dancing there..
2. What about on July 12th?
I was Still Dancing in Florida i Had Class all day..
3. Do you go on any vacations during this month?:
Nope i just also went to New York to dance their..
~*August*~
1. Did you do anything special to end off your summer?:
Just finished hanging out with friends..
2. What was your favorite summer memory of '05?:
Going to New York and meeting so many amazing people that i will have friendships with hopefully for the rest of my life.
3. Do you go swimming a lot in the summer?:
Hahah Maybe once or 2 times becuase i danced the whole time
4. Do you go to the beach a lot?:
Not Once lol
~*September*~
1. Did you attend school/college in '05?:
yup WBHS
2. Who is/was your favorite teacher?:
Ummm..... I dont really Have once..
3. Do you like fall better than summer?:
Noo not really i like them both but summer a bit better..
~*October*~
1. What was your favorite Halloween costume ever?:
Ummm This year i was a red wing player! yesss
2. What's your favorite candy?:
Almond Joy Baby!
3. What did you dress up like this year?:
Red Wings player!!
~*November*~
1. Whose house do you usually go to for Thanksgiving?:
my house of course!
2. Do you like stuffing?:
Yess yummy!!
3. What are you thankful for?:
My Family and Being healthy
~*December*~
1. Do you celebrate Christmas?:
yeperz
2. Have you ever been kissed under mistletoe?:
nope But i want to!
3. What do you want this year for Christmas?:
i didnt ask for much... but i wanted some stuff on Dvd..
4. What's the best present you ever got for Christmas?:
My Digital Cameraa
5. Do you like cold weather?:
Yes without it christmas doesnt feel the samee
6. How would you rate your '05?:
Pretty good..
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| To the girl U love so much.. |
[11 Dec 2005|02:34pm] |
To the girl you love so much,
There are just a couple of things that I thought You should know, I have learned this for last 8 years of my life. First of all,Don't be surprised if he treats you much better than any other guy you have ever met. don't be Scared if he shows you much more love then u have ever endured. Dont be scared when he actually will listen to ever single word that you say, even when you Whisper. Please know that He will remeber everything u guys do or everything that you say. He is the kind of person that doesnt let things bother him but when u do something he will be hurt so eaisly especially by the hurtful words a no apperciative girl will say. If you hurt him, then you'll have to pay the price of seeing the broken look in his passionate and Beauitful hazel eyes, and watch the light in them fade. But im telling you if this happens all is not lost- a kiss and an "I love you" can heal anything. Just promise me this please don’t say I love you to him, unless you really mean it, nothing hurts him more then someone who really doesn’t care. Sometimes, he won't tell you what he is feeling, but... just know that he is protecting you and if you ever feel that something isn't right, just look into his beautiful hazel eyes and you will be able to see into him. You can see everything he is feeling, everything he is thinking, everything that isn't right with him... He won't ever try to hurt you, because he just isn't that way, so please don't hurt him because if you do, I don't think I could ever forgive you. I don't think there could ever be a worse feeling in the world than knowing that you have the boy that I love and knowing that you hurt him. You should know that if you two ever get into a fight, just make sure you pick only the ones worth fighting for... He will always keep his temper and will never curse at you or call you names, despite the anger he may be feeling. Though he may act as a jokester, most of the time, once he's given you his heart, he will begin to open up to you and his silliness will make your heart smile, in a way that words can not explain. Don't hold a tight grip on him, let him go and be part of the world and experience new things. You will find that he is a busy guy and that he is so very independent. Sometimes, he will need his space, but don't worry... He'll always make time for you and even when you're not around, you'll be in his thoughts. You will find that he isn't like any other guy that you have met, so please don't take him for granite. When it comes to him giving u gifts and wanting to hold u just remeber dont be selfish becuase he belives that you trully are special. Remember, He likes Basketball over hockey, Steak over chicken, Halo better than Super bust a move, Toco bell over Kfc, Funny T-shirts over Sweatshirts, and even though he won't admit it, he really does like to be surprised. He is so sweet and so amazing and know that if you ever leave him, you will break his heart apart, the same way that my heart breaks apart, as I sit here writing this to you. Don't ever try to pull him away from his dreams. He is going to be an extremely successful Person and won't ever let you give up on your dreams, either. He will encourage you to become everything you can be and will never, ever let you down. He likes it when you kiss his neck and nothing is better than hugging each other. Just watch how your hand will fit perfectly into his and when it does, it seems as if nothing in the world could hurt you, because he is there. And when he puts his arms around you and tells you that you are the girl he loves, you will know, there isn't any guy in the world better than him... Don't ever let him go. You will regret doing so, for the rest of time... I promise, you will.
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| Venting.... |
[13 Nov 2005|12:22pm] |
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So Over the weekend i have relised that u are just like any other guy. U were always that special person that i thought would never ever hurt me who would always be there for me who is so different then any other person. I talked good about you tell all of my friends who i cant stop thinking about because i am absolutly in love with you. I am so scared because i didnt realsie how stong my feels are for you and yesterday i have never been so hurt from somebody, my heart sank to the floor you were honeslty as low as any guy i have ever met. I felt that my place where i can go to to be myself and be happy was completly violated. I was lied to by the one person who means the world to me. It hurts to know that u do not care as much as i do becasue i am head over heals for you. You honestly do not understand how much i care for you and i would do anything for you. I love you so much but this time u really hurt me it was a pain i have never felt i might be over reacting but when someone actually the only person i have 100 Percent confidence in does something iwould have never excpected i have no reason why i wouldnt be upset... i know that i will always love you and i will always be here for you but right now i am not so sure what i should be thinking/ feeling It hurts so bad to write this saying acutally one bad thing about u i cant because u were to perfect... I dont know im done this is enough...
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| Sterling Heights |
[06 Nov 2005|11:18am] |
So i have decided that i am going to try to spend all my time in sterling heights when i can honestly i love it there and i love the people and i love my friends there its so different from here and i love it. I love how i can go there and laugh for hours stright about stupid stuff and not have to worry about something wrong to happen i love how i can be myself and i can never get upset when im there. This weekend was so much funn spending time with my best friend alex we honestly needed it. Friday we stayed up till like 3 watching a movie and just talking and having funn.. Then sat i went to his house and it was aunt susans bday Chad ate so much cake! haha Then me and alex got in a massive fight Brawl ahhaa it was so funny he almost killed me but i pulled through in won but shhhh he will just say he won ahha Im just kidding he so won lol then we went to 7-11 and got a bunch of snacks and went back to the house and just Did nothing but played halo and laughed at everything and then me and chad had a good talk it was good that we finally are on the same page but again i didnt go to bed till 6 and i had to wake up at 7:45 and now i am at work.. So i have some pics.. Ur not gonna understand them because there my wild crazy friends that i love and adore and the pics just happend to come out in the wrong way haha when it was just a bunch of beat ups soo Thanks Alex,Chad,Steve,Brad,Sarge Cousin ben and anthony to a great night i needed it!!!
( Best Night in a long time!!! )
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| HOMECOMING |
[08 Oct 2005|11:38am] |
SO its Been One week since homecoming and i had a amazing time with all my friends and i had the best hottest date ever i love him hahah we had a blast!!!!! So i decided to post pics from there let me know if u like!
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( HOMECOMING 2005! )
^Thanks everyone for a amazing time i love u all!
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| My week.. Rip Chris Walker |
[24 Sep 2005|11:17am] |
My week was actually pretty good... I got my hair done that was good and school was alright... I am so excited for homecoming it should be a blast... I kinda got frusturated in the beginging of the week and it was bad... Of Course Adam was there to help me but yah.. it was kind of a emotional week becuase upsetingly a friend of mine Chris Walker Died on thursday due to a car accident. I think it was a total shock to everyone at school because no one was excepting it. He was only 15 years old and a sophomre.. Its terrible becuase he honestly had a whole life to live. Now that i think about it more and more reality sets in im not going to see him anymore im not going to be able to talk to him and say hey chris in the hallways.. Or just remembering when we had a class together last year and we would have conversations about my cousin. He was such a nice kid for something this terrible to happen... I realise now life is to short. And i shouldnt be upset about falling out of a turn at dance because theres more to life. I pray for his family in hoping that everything will be okay for them... ITs going to be hard for everyone, but we know hes somewhere safe now. On another note i went to the football game last night with jenna it was alot of funn we had a photo shoot and i saw my best friend in the whole intire world MIKE! Omg I love him so much we hugged for so long i get so happy to see him i almost cried because it sucks when u only can see ur best friend every so often.. After me jenna laruen sara and brad went to eat a village then had a dance party in the Wbhs parking lot and danny and tim joined it was alot of funn but here are some pictures..
( Football Game!! )
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| Weekenddd |
[18 Sep 2005|10:54am] |
Okay So My Weekend was Pretty Funn I Got Through School this week.. It was Good i guess... Dance was good and all that... Friday Night was sooo much and i have pics to put on there but.. I decided to give danny a call and so me and melanie went to evans house and hung out with there whole gang like 13 of them and me and melanie basically they called it a sausage fest lmao it was seriously so much funn melanie and i laughed soo fricken hard.. They are all such cool kids! Then Sat Me and Melanie whent to fountain Walk and saw Danny, Evan, Clay, Mike, Arthur, Stefan, Mark and His cousin Stephen and we hung out with them for a while it was alot of funn and Evan was dancing in the middle of fountain walk and he was soo fricken funny a security Gaurd came up to him and stuff and then they left and Me and Melanie went to Wendys with Mark and His Cousin it was alot of funn.. Then Went to melz house for a whilee and then went home now i have to work and do a project with brad even though i was supposed to hang out with Jimmy But i cant :( but i cannont wait till next weekend when i hang out with him! Hes Such a great guy!! Well I guess thats it heres some pics from the weekend!
( Friday Night! )
Basically i love those boys lol <33
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| Weekend.. |
[11 Sep 2005|11:58am] |
Well this was a pretty good weekend hoping that when i went to toronto for my brothers hockey trounmanet i would meet some cuties but the most i got was a group of 14 year old boys sitting behind me say heyy whats up and asking me how old i was and where i was from.. they were from ontario Cool! lol It was actually pretty funny... but my brotheres team didnt do so good seeing the first time they actually played with eachother was this weekend.. I like the new team its cool and i like the people on it.. it should be a funn season traveling everywhere.. But back to school monday and i have sooo much Hw!!! Ahh i better get to it but here are some pics from the tournament
( Toronto! )
So These Pics Consist Of Me and My Best Friend Alex lol and My brother! And Pauly To ahaha We had funn at lunch and on the way home! It was a funn time!
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| Senior Year |
[09 Sep 2005|02:08pm] |
So i got through the first week that you can say.. Which wouldnt be a normal week for me anyways cause the dance sech is different next week and i honestly will never be home... And today (friday) i missed school because one i am sick.. 2 i am leaving to toronto for my brothers hockey tournament which should be funn and hoping that i can meet some hotties!!! But i guess my classes are good... I dont think you have to read all of this cause im just gonna blab on and on so here i go...
1st hour i have matt which is good.. we are gonna be math studying buddys which should be good i guess you can say..
2nd hour i have no one absolutly noone in ap gov well i have friends in it but not my good friends you know.. which will be good so i can consentrate..
3rd hour Is might changing.. so we will see what happens..
4th hour dance self explanatory.. should be okay
5th hour I have Marty and mike seigal which should be funn
6th hour I LITTERALLY HAVE NOONE!!! Marketing is going to suck
7th hour i love but i need to stay focused i have Brad Grey, syliva, david, Max, Joey, Ryan and we all sit by eachother lol but i guess its good cause i have to stay focused....
I have realised many things this week... One i didnt talk to someone for the the first time since june yesterday.. which was okay i guess.. but i mean im glad i am getting over it and moving on...
2. Lenny basically hates me now and it hurts me so much.. he is my best friend and i love him so much.. He may not think it but its true.. It hurts when i dont have him to talk to.. And i guess i should have seen it coming because i am a bad friend... i was rude. i was a bitch. i said things i didnt mean.. But i guess it all falls back on me for the one who was wrong.. but this little fight that we got into escalded into a massive one which now he hates me and will not talk to me anymore.. i wish he knew how much it hurts that we arnt as close as we used to be. And it being my senior year my last year to be with him and be best friends with him i thought it would be a good chance to make some changes and be the friends that we used to be because i am going to be gone and i will prob will never see him again.. as well as most of the people in WB... I dont know i wish he would just forgive me because he is honestly one of the nicest people i know..
3. I think that the hardest part of going back was to see the person you love smile at you and you turn ur head like u never knew who they were... It sucked so much that i could go so long and not even think about you and now i feel like i have to go through it all over again.. i guess its a plus that i dont see you that much but then again im not gonna see u after this year is over anyway so i guess its okay....
ahh i dont know about this year.. I really want to go to homecoming but im not gonna get a date but watever... im gonna go cause i have to leave....
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| Summer! 05 |
[05 Sep 2005|02:12pm] |
Ahh Sadly To Say Summer is coming to a end and oh man it was a good one! I am going to miss it so much i really dont want it to be over! It had its up and Downs but i got through it.. I Met Amazing People.. Had A few Crushes and Heart Breaks your typical Summer Romances.. It Was Honestly Amazing Spending Everday with my Best friend Melanie! I dont know what my summer would have been without her! Meeting Waterford boys, Taking care of her, fast food, Late night talks, driving behind eachother and calling eachother, Fountain walk, Crying, Laughing i serisouly love her so much and i dont know what i would have done this summer without her Then i Met Dina Who is like a amazing Friend i love her so much!!!!.. So i guess heres a little recap with Pictures!!!
( Summer 05!!So Long Sweet Summer.. )
Again i had one Amazing SUmmer and i love Everyone it was one i will never Forget!! Thanks For everyone who made it Great!
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[24 Aug 2005|02:04pm] |
Soo Adam Came over yesterday!! Ah i was soo happy cause i hadnt seen him in 3 dayz!! And i love him ohh soo much!! Even though i was gonna see him today!! We went to kroger for an adventure and we had soo much funn then he came over ate and we just layed around and stuff i love him!! Here are som picss
( My<33!! )
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| Love? |
[22 Aug 2005|03:06pm] |
This is going to be really long and i dont exspect you to read it but its kinda just for me.. But neways..
Soo Theres this one boy.. And i have known him for almost all of my life.. I think we have gone through almost everything together. He makes me laugh he makes me cry.. He makes me look at life in a different prespective. He means so much to me and i dont think that he knows that. I would do anything in the world for him and i mean that serisouly. Hes my best friend, he knows me inside and out, He knows me so well that sometimes he can say things before they come out of my mouth it scares me a little bit lol. We can beat eachother up and laugh about it. We can scream at the top of our lungs to eachother and make eachother laugh in the end. We arguee about the stupidest things like how to make girlled cheese or a Chocolate Shake. Our Fights last for 10 min tops. i know certain things about him that others dont. I get jelous of his girls which is stupid because im his best friend right? Well the thing is.. Deep down i am absolutly in love with him. When i see him i never stop smiling i never stop staring at him. I love cuddling with him on the couch i love staying up till 5:30 in the morning with him I love when he trys to teach me how to play sports or even skate boarding haha. I love watching him do his crazy stupid adventures and yell at him for doing them but know is okay when he says "Okay Amanda you know what" cause when he says that i know its gonna be okay. I love how i can have a scary dream of him saying something soo mean and he says it to me when we joke or start fighting. I love knowing that he will always be there for me. I love knowing that he will always be my best friend. But latly i have been scared, Scared that things are starting to change.. i havent seen him in a while but i still talk to him everday im scared that maybe when i leave to begin my life after this year that i am not gonna see him anymore or be with him.. It was hard not seeing him for 2 months how am i gonna live the rest my life.. i just cant.. Im scared that we are gonna go our seperate ways and not be together... not be friends.. I am hoping that we will get married so i can spend every waking moment with him becuase he is the love of my life and my best friend but i don think thats gonnna happen i dont think that he feels the same way. I have had this in the back of my mind for the last couple years but never been able to talk about it.. maybe im foolish for thinking these things.. But deep down im just saying wat my heart feels. I get this feeling of security with him and i love that... But who knows what will happen in the next year.. maybe we can figure out a way but im not sure... But if someone ever replaces me please do not hurt him he doesnt deserve that he doesnt deserve these stupid girls that screw with his mind and his emotions he is one of the best people i have ever met and he desevers so much more then a stupid girl who doesnt know what she wants. I love him with all my heart and soul so if you hurt him u will hurt me.. Soo this entry was kinda pointless but it feels good to be said...
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| okay im venting |
[21 Aug 2005|12:21pm] |
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Okay i am serisouly so sick and tired of being the "nice" Girl i always have been and i always will be. It sucks so much becuase people tottally take adavantage of it and i hate it. I hate that I will try so hard to impress someone and they wont give me the time of day. Im sick and tired of becoming attached to easy.. Im sick and tired of getting hurt. Why cant someone just like me for me and not give me so much bulshit. Do you realise i have feelings to! No you dont.. All you want to do is give me bulshit and im not talking about someone specifically im talking about everyone in general. Not just boys girls to im sick of telling you how i feel and then back fire and make it worse or dont even help me at All Ughh im just soo mad right now!! And i know im not the only one who feels like this but ughh i just need some change around here
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[21 Aug 2005|11:24am] |
Sooo Sadly to say that summer is almost over and i have to go back to school with a bunch of bulshit and rude ass people not soo excited about that... Hopefully this year will be alot betterr.. Things are okay right now.. Not really intrested in anyone becuase as soon as that starts to happen shit occurs.. Watever not my luck this summer but ohh well when is it ever... Dance is gonna come back and im gonna be overloaded with school and dancee but its all good.. I guess you can say i can be too nice sometimes like for instance i absolutly dispise someone right now but 3 years ago i say to them no matter wat no matter how our friendship is i will always be there for you.. and it happened i tottaly dislike him right now and he needed me and i havent talked to him in 2 months and soo i talked to him i was there for him and i felt sry for him.. Its hard when you were in love with someone and when u end up leaving the feeling and get aqainted with them again you feel this feeling like i need to be there and i wish i can accept there srys but you cant. I have too many times and he know i have so i guess thats good but i am hear just to help not get hurt. But i kept my promise and its back to no talking.
( old pics!! )
Well Me and Cia went to dream cruise yesterday and walked all the way to royal oak to see Tori haha soo far but funn! Then Met up With Dina.. Then saw some friends from school Damon, Thomas, Peter, Mike, and Kyle it was funn then went to the movies with luke conner kyle Walker and his friend it was funn movie was shitty thoughh But i missed them alot!! Hopefully things are gonna start to fall into place I am not ready to be back at west bloomfield high school and im not looking forward to it lol but wateverr im gonna get goinnn
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| Best Friends? |
[18 Aug 2005|10:57pm] |
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music |
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Behind these hazel eyes |
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Iv Decided to give this tribute to tori i love her so much and i serisouly miss her. The Bond we had was unreal and she serisouly doesnt know how much she means to me.. heyy she has new best friends but its okay i still consider her my best friend. I hope she just realises that i miss her soo much heyy i miss freshman year soo much....
On another note i just mdae myself upset its sucks when u finally tell someone how you feel and they shut u down completly... I dont know maybe im just stupid for feeling the way i do waking up and thinking about them driving hearing a song that reminds you of them.. Pictures to remeber something that was something that was once good i dont know...
Ahhh i am soo stupid and i feel like a idiot for doing it.... Watever your never promised tmw so i might as well just say it how it is
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angelqtgirl729's journal